Tag archives: parenthood

We All Become Orphans at Some Point Bookmark and Share

I’ve been thinking of my grandfather lately, which is odd because he passed away two decades ago and I haven’t thought much about him since. The ugly truth is that his death didn’t really affect me, and it wasn’t all that surprising.

Though my grandfather was only 69 at the time, he had already suffered one heart attack and had developed emphysema caused by years of smoking a pipe. A number of his siblings had already died of heart disease.

What I remember most about his funeral was my dad’s grief and how it baffled ...

Continue reading

The Lifelong Struggle: Why Marriage Is Harder Than Parenthood Bookmark and Share

I grew up with the mantra, "marriage is hard work," and for my parents, it seemed especially difficult. Having watching their struggles, I felt prepared for tough stuff. When the first years of my own marriage felt surprisingly easy, I began to suspect my parents were just doing it all wrong. 

Then we had a baby, sold our condo, moved, my husband went to grad school and became a stay-at-home dad within three months. Over the next few years, we moved again, our beloved cat died, my job sucked and I went through four bosses and a company restructuring. To ...

Continue reading

This time my mother's visit won't cause anxiety Bookmark and Share

My mom is coming to visit in two days. I can’t wait, and it’s not just because I’m two weeks into this three-week single parenthood stint and I desperately need reinforcements.

It’s because for the first time in years, I feel like I will be myself this visit. I’ve lived in another state for 13 years now, and every visit has caused me at least mild anxiety. Some visits have caused a lot of anxiety.

Take the Christmas when my entire family drove out and I turned into Martha Stewart. I decked the halls. I ...

Continue reading

Giving up the teenage dream Bookmark and Share

At 17, I planned out my entire life until age 30: a college degree and marriage by 22 followed by two children (girl then boy), a master’s degree and a fulfilling professional career by 30. My plans didn’t go beyond that, so apparently I was going to drop dead or go insane after that crazy journey.

This plan made perfect sense in my naïve mind. I was already engaged (feel free to roll your eyes, I always do when I think of it) and had begun freshman year of college. Fortunately, it didn’t pan out. Instead college ...

Continue reading